Reviewing Process

When considering a condiment for inclusion in The Condiment Bible, we use a binary reviewing system.   
  •  Thou Shalt Eat means the sauce has earned its rightful place among its peers.  
  • Thou Shalt Not Eat means that we've tried the sauce and found it lacking.
Our reasoning is this: rating scales (1-5, 1-10) are arbitrary.  What's the difference between an 8 and a 9?  What about a 2 and a 3?  In the end, we only want to know one thing about a condiment...should we eat it?


What does it take for a condiment to be considered Bible-worthy?


FLAVOR - Our philosophy weights flavor as the most important attribute a condiment can have.  Does it taste good?  Does it taste good by the spoonful?  Is it delicious slathered on brisket or pork ribs?  What about 2-day-old spaghetti?  Would we consider using it as toothpaste?

CONSISTENCY - Different styles of condiments are going to have different textures.  A condiment's texture should adhere to its overall style.

APPEARANCE - We're not picky; if it looks like shit but tastes like heaven, we'll still eat it.  But again, adherence to an overall style is viewed favorably.

SMELL - Smell is less important for pre-packaged condiments, but very important for homemade and made-to-order sauces.

AVAILABILITY - While most of the 'ments we review will be readily available, you'll find that some are discontinued...or as discontinued as anything can be in the Age of the Interwebs.

INGREDIENTS - All ingredients are noted.  Unhealthy or insalubrious ingredients are not necessarily scored lower, but unique or unusual ingredients are definitely weighted favorably.