When considering a condiment for inclusion in The Condiment Bible, we use a binary reviewing system.
- Thou Shalt Eat means the sauce has earned its rightful place among its peers.
- Thou Shalt Not Eat means that we've tried the sauce and found it lacking.
Our reasoning is this: rating scales (1-5, 1-10) are arbitrary. What's the difference between an 8 and a 9? What about a 2 and a 3? In the end, we only want to know one thing about a condiment...should we eat it?
What does it take for a condiment to be considered Bible-worthy?
FLAVOR - Our philosophy weights flavor as the most important attribute a condiment can have. Does it taste good? Does it taste good by the spoonful? Is it delicious slathered on brisket or pork ribs? What about 2-day-old spaghetti? Would we consider using it as toothpaste?
CONSISTENCY - Different styles of condiments are going to have different textures. A condiment's texture should adhere to its overall style.
APPEARANCE - We're not picky; if it looks like shit but tastes like heaven, we'll still eat it. But again, adherence to an overall style is viewed favorably.
SMELL - Smell is less important for pre-packaged condiments, but very important for homemade and made-to-order sauces.
AVAILABILITY - While most of the 'ments we review will be readily available, you'll find that some are discontinued...or as discontinued as anything can be in the Age of the Interwebs.
INGREDIENTS - All ingredients are noted. Unhealthy or insalubrious ingredients are not necessarily scored lower, but unique or unusual ingredients are definitely weighted favorably.