Reddit Condiment Exchange

The Condiment Bible is participating in the redditgifts Condiments 2014 exchange!

redditgifts organizes "Secret Santa" style exchanges with various themes between Redditors.  Once you sign up for an exchange, you're matched with a giftee (who provides some basic info about their condiment likes and dislikes) and a gift-giver.  You send your giftee some bottles of awesome...and hope your gift-giver is not a Vegemite-lover from down under!

TCB started with a New Jersey motif for our gift and went with the FunniBonz Original BBQ sauce, which has a great flavor and phenomenal thickness.  We also included another Jersey bottle of Hank Sauce Camouflage Hot Sauce, which was the best condiment we discovered last summer (review coming soon).  This vinegar-based hot sauce has a mellow heat and a fresh, admirable cilantro flavor.

Finally, since our giftee enjoys "Asian style sauces," we threw in a bottle of Bone Suckin' Yaki, the teriyaki/balsamic hybrid that holds a special place in our condiment hearts.

Once TCB receives our gift, we'll be sure to post.

Condiment Bible Featured On The Saucy Dipper

Check out The Condiment Bible's insight into the world of sauces, currently featured at the Saucy Dipper.

We wax eloquent about onion dip (Axelrod, of course), the origins of The Condiment Bible and the worst condiment ever!

Huy Fong Sriracha CEO Gives Zero F*cks

Huy Fong sriracha is awesome.  I'm not breaking new ground here...if you dig condiments and/or hot sauces, you know and eat worship Rooster Sauce.

David Tran is the CEO and spearhead of Huy Fong Foods, and according to Quartz, he gives zero fucks about anything except his beloved sriracha.

Example 1: Huy Fong has no advertising.  Zero.  No Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram...hell, even their website looks like something Tran's grandkid put together for an extra credit project.

Example 2: Since 1980, Mr. Tran has never, not even once, raised the wholesale price of sriracha.  Math isn't exactly my strong suit, but I'm 110% certain that had I purchased 1,000 bottles in 1980, my life would be very different.

Example 3: He has no idea where Huy Fong sriracha is sold.  Additionally, he only recently learned that the sauce is popular with sushi chefs.  It's evident that THE MAN HAS NEVER EATEN A SPICY TUNA ROLL.

Example 4: He refuses to compromise; Huy Fong's growth is limited by the amount of fresh chilies they can harvest.  Mr. Tran refuses to make the switch from fresh to dried and is discriminating in the selection of growing plots.

"People who come here are never interested in the product, only in the profits,” he laments.

Please don't mistake my witticisms for disdain. 

I firmly believe that David Tran is a man of principle and integrity...hell, we're talking about a guy who created Rooster Sauce because he couldn't find a hot sauce he enjoyed...and his unorthodox business practices only add to the Rooster Sauce mythos.



Image by Amit Dave, Reuters

Heinz Ketchup Facts

Thrillist (the circadian email of all things "guy") posted an impressive docket of little known facts about the ketchup brand we love to love.  

While some of the listicle's facts are mainstream knowledge (if you're part of the 89% of Americans who don't know about the "57" bottle trick, please move along), there were a few gems with which TCB was seriously impressed.

We're not sure how we missed list item #4, the "counterfeit ketchup-ers rebottle OG Heinz as premium Simply Heinz and bottles explode due to fermentation" story...it's in our own NJ backyard, fer Chrissakes...but miss it we did.

Also, #7's link to Malcolm Gladwell's New Yorker article on how Heinz cornered the ketchup market by fine-tuning ingredients to stimulate all five flavor sensors was fascinating.



Image: Dog Days of Summer, by designwallah

Beautifully Weird Cholula Hot Sauce Art

Cholula is a great hot sauce. As TCB has mentioned before, Cholula packs a lot of flavor, but with a low heat content (~1000 Scoville units) that only compliments and never overwhelms.

While browsing the interwebs for pictures of Cholula - because that's what we do - we came across these interesting pieces of Cholula art.  Maybe they're renditions of a lonely condiment lover's nightly dreamscape...or maybe they're ad designs from some weird marketing company in Singapore.  Either way, they're awesome!

Here we have Cholula serving as a wooden-topped bottle bridge to safety for some errant sheep. Don't feel bad for the two ewes BAAAA'ing their way to their deaths...you don't want to know how they got out there in the first place 

In this piece, a bottle of Original preserves the lives of a flock of chickens lost at sea. Coincidentally, Cholula is delicious on chicken.

Here's where things get dark.  Aliens have invaded, and they want our meats. Cholula does its best to shield our delicious animal friends from certain evisceration at the hands of our galactic enemies (saving them for certain evisceration at the hands of our friendly neighborhood butchers).

WANTED: Yankee Stadium Ketchup Hooligan

Have you seen this man?  

He was spotted abusing an innocent ketchup dispenser at Yankee Stadium prior to the ALDS Game 1 rainout on Friday, September 30th.

The Condiment Bible is considering him armed (see picture foreground) and dangerous.

A People's History of Condiments, Part III

The Condiment Bible covered Part I and Part II of Tom Nealon's condiment history series a while back.  In Part III, Mr. Nealon provides us with a comprehensive diagram entertaining the age old question: What is a condiment?

While TCB doesn't necessarily agree with his entire classification, we wholeheartedly support any project that employs John Venn's life work.

Note:  This is the third post of a series, so stay tuned. 

Image: condiment_venn2.11, by Tom Nealon

Rooster Sauce Makes Moves

Huy Fong Foods, which makes the famous Rooster-labeled sriracha (reviewed by TCB), is expanding their facilities in LA County.

Inspirational quote:  "Demand for the product has increased every year for the last 30 years, said David Tran, a Vietnamese immigrant who said he founded the company when he couldn't find hot sauce he liked. 

Via The LA Times

Image by Gina Ferazzi, Los Angeles Times

The Golden Age of Condiments

We've entered The Golden Age of Condiments.  Economically speaking, of course.   

Apparently condiment sales "grew 9.4 percent from 2007 to 2009, becoming the second largest category in the specialty foods market behind the perennial stalwart, cheese."

Look out, cheese.  We're coming. 

Via: Business Week

Image: Condiments for the best hot dog ever, by katehartman

McRib Madness

The McRib is back in the national spotlight, which probably has everything to do with The Condiment Bible's recent homemade McRib recipe.

The McRib is being re-re-released on a nation-wide scale on November 2nd.  Mark your calendars.

EDIT:  Confirmed by McDonald's Twitter feed.

Also, yours truly made the front page of the Wall Street Journal yesterday (last 2 paragraphs).  Was I really dejected after leaving a McD's sans McRib?  Yes.  Was I even more dejected that I made the front page of the WSJ and they DIDN'T FREAKING PLUG THE CONDIMENT BIBLE?  YES!

A People's History of Condiments, Part II

Historic gastronome Tom Nealon has continues his comprehensive account of condiment history, focusing his attention on the chimerical fifth flavor.  The Condiment Bible reviewed Part I a few weeks back.

Note:  This is the second post of a series, so stay tuned. 

Image:  YIP Day 317, Not Quite a Squircle, by Auntie P

Have you ever seen a Chinese ketchup?

Mad Money's Jim Cramer is bullish on Heinz and wants to know, "Have you ever seen a Chinese ketchup?"

Come to think of it Mr. Cramer, no we have not. 

Via Seeking Alpha

Image: 01-01-2007, by rhiannonstone

Mustard Fingerprint

Sweet mustard fingerprint, beb. 

Via: Walyou

Image: Left Ring Finger, by Kevin Van Aelst

A People's History of Condiments, Part I

Historic gastronome Tom Nealon has offered a comprehensive account of condiment history throughout the past thousand-odd years.  While some of his chronicle is a bit rigid by Condiment Bible standards (don't get us started on the sauce vs. condiment debate), who are we to question the Howard Zinn of the condiment world?

Note:  This is the first post of a series, so stay tuned. 

Via:  Huffington Post

Image:  YIP Day 317, Not Quite a Squircle, by Auntie P

More Chicago Condiment Action

It wouldn't be a condiment road trip to Chicago without a Chicago dog, which is all about the toppings.  According to my brain (and backed up by Wikipedia), Chicago dogs include:

• all-beef hot dog, steamed or dirty water
• poppy seed bun
• chopped onions
• sweet green relish
• yellow mustard
• dill pickle spear
• tomato wedges
• sport peppers
• celery salt

The pic above was taken at America's Dogs, which featured different style dogs from cities around the U.S.  They didn't have any Jersey dogs (both Italian hot dogs and Rippers were invented in NJ)...clearly a bullshit establishment...but their Chicago dogs were excellent, so I guess it's a wash.

They also espoused some contemplative condiment wisdom on their placemats:

Sweet Baby Ray's in Chi-Town

Instead of doing our weekly Monday Sweet Baby Ray's review, TCB would like to present some evidence from our recent Windy City Condiment Road Trip (the hometown of SBR).

Exhibit #1 (see above):  This little pic jumped out at me during a late-night convenience store run.  I didn't know SBR produced a marinade, let alone a teriyaki sauce (there's no evidence on their new product page).  Because I saw this bottle at an inconvenient time (4AM + Jaeger Bombs + new SBR bottle = empty SBR bottle, followed by projectile vomiting), I didn't pick up a bottle, so I can't report on its awesomeness.  Disgraceful to the trade, I know.

Exhibit #2:  Now Ray and his boys are just screwing with us.  Sweet Baby Ray's Beef Jerky?!  Original flavor (implying other delicious flavors are out there somewhere)?!  I don't travel much in Middle America, so I'm not sure if this is just a Chicago thing, but c'mon, Ray.  Share the wealth!

DIY BBQ Sauce

Not to be outdone by yesterday's TCB post on The NY Times hot sauce recipes, The Washington Post published some good looking, DIY BBQ sauce advice (replete with recipes).  The small photo gallery is interesting...check out the bottom sauce in Photo 2.
 
Via The Washington Post

Image: by Katherine Frey for The Washington Post

Sleeping Devil in an Old Jam Jar

The NY Times featured a great article on making your own hot sauce (with 2 recipes).  I love the authentic Ball mason jars...and this post's title quote is AWESOME!

Via The NY Times

Image: by Andrew Scrivani for The New York Times

Snoop Needs a BBQ Sauce Recipe

 
Apparently the BBQ sauce in Europe isn't up to Snoop Dogg's high standards and he's looking for a solid homemade recipe.  

I hit him up with a good cola-based sauce on TCB's new Twitter feed, so hopefully that will straighten everything out.


Via Mirror.co.uk

Image: Snoop_Corde_165, by www.chicagofabulousblog.com

Heinz Dip & Squeeze

The good folks at Heinz are bringing European-style condiment packets to the States.  The Condiment Bible has no beef with traditional packets, but we're suckers for innovation, and the option to either dip or squeeze is appealing.

Via Facebook 

Image:  Heinz