Mustard: Great Value Southwest Spicy

Look at this bottle of mustard. Would you just look at it? It screams, "MEDIOCRITY" and is recognizable as Walmart standard-issue, with the generic blue and white "Great Value" logo.

Absolutely nothing about Great Value's Southwest Spicy Mustard's packaging suggests that it's THE BEST CONDIMENT WE'VE TRIED IN AGES. Seriously, no foolsies; this unexceptionally-packaged mustard is insanely good!

Great pull by fellow saucier "ironman." 

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FLAVOR - Sweet opening, followed by a mild tang & a burst of southwest flavor (notes of cumin and turmeric) with a mild-to-moderate heat finish
CONSISTENCY - Thick & slightly gloppy; small but noticeable chunks of pepper
APPEARANCE - Reddish yellow, with large red/green pepper bits

SMELL - Vinegar tang with an earthy mustard undertone & a bit of "southwest"

AVAILABILITY - Readily available, Walmart (also, see note below for branded version)

INGREDIENTS - Water, Sugar, Vinegar, Mustard Seed, Salt, Dehydrated Red And Green Bell Peppers, Natural Flavor, Paprika, Turmeric

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Please, please, please...don't underestimate the awesomeness of this mustard. I've been noticing and ignoring this bottle in the Walmart condiment aisle for a while. Huge mistake! It's excellent, it costs $2 and after less than 24-hours of taste testing, I can comfortably predict that it will be a staple on my fridge door.  

It's an agreeable hybrid between a regular mustard, a honey mustard (definitely some sweetness in there) and a specialty mustard (the southwest flavor). So far, I've only tried it on a sandwich (sliced chicken, Jarlsberg, Arnold potato bread)...and thrown back a few straight shots...but I'm looking forward to trying it on hot dogs, brats and burgers.

Note:  Great Value is a Walmart house brand, thus it's products are not produced by Walmart. Southwest Spicy Mustard is actually produced by Koops' Mustards...it can also be purchased as Koops' Arizona Heat.

Koops' is a division of Olds Products, the self-appointed "recognized leader in store brand mustards." On their Private Label page, we noticed that their mustards are available in a variety of packaging formats:

That's right, tankers. Of mustard. Awesome.

God Bless the Internet (and Mary's Gourmet)!!!

Every once in a while, the internet does me a solid.  Mostly in the form of amusing cat pictures.  But not this time...this time, it was Thomas Bishop of Pools & Spas A Go-Go from out Michigan way.

Thomas had a magic treasure chest full of Mary's Gourmet Foods Original BBQ Sauce for sale.  Also known as "Porkrubbers Original Competition Sauce," it's one of my all time favorites...and has been discontinued since '08.

Prior to Thomas' email, I was saving one bottle of this stuff for a special occasion.  Now I have enough to take a bath in.  Pics to follow.

Note: my passion for obscure foodstuffs is not limited to condiments.  Any sources for Royal Crown Draft Cola, Cherry Certs or Bull's Eye Raging Buffalo BBQ Sauce, please get at me via the contact page.

WANTED: Yankee Stadium Ketchup Hooligan

Have you seen this man?  

He was spotted abusing an innocent ketchup dispenser at Yankee Stadium prior to the ALDS Game 1 rainout on Friday, September 30th.

The Condiment Bible is considering him armed (see picture foreground) and dangerous.

BBQ Sauce: Sweet Baby Ray's Honey Chipotle

As promised, I'm finally going to finish up the Sweet Baby Ray's Monday spotlight.  I've already reviewed these SBR flavors:

• Hickory & Brown Sugar
• Sweet 'n Spicy
• Original

Our reviews will continue for three more weeks, finishing up with the secret Sweet Baby Ray's sauce.  Today's flavor is Honey Chipotle, one of the newer additions to the Ray family.

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FLAVOR - Sweet honey and deep smoky chipotle, with a peppery, medium heat finish
CONSISTENCY - Thick and gooey
APPEARANCE -  Typical BBQ sauce reddish-brown, visible black flecks when spread thin

SMELL - Similar to Original (sweet smoke with a mild vinegar bite, hint of chipotle)

AVAILABILITY - Readily available

INGREDIENTS - HFCS, vinegar, tomato paste, honey, chipotle pepper sauce (red jalapeno peppers, vinegar, sugar, salt, onions), modified food starch, worcestershire concentrate (vinegar, molasses, corn syrup, water, salt, caramel, garlic powder, sugar, spices, tamarind, natural flavor), pineapple juice concentrate, spice, natural smoke flavor, caramel, sodium benzoate, red bell pepper, natural flavor, garlic

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While the consistency, appearance and smell of the SBR sauces have been very similar across the board, flavor is where each sauce really stands out.  The Honey Chipotle makes good use of the now-ubiquitous smoked jalapeno taste.

I find this sauce to be the spiciest of the lot (even more so than Sweet 'n Spicy).  I really like to use it on Latin American cuisine (especially great on anything Mexican) as well as meatloaf.

A People's History of Condiments, Part III

The Condiment Bible covered Part I and Part II of Tom Nealon's condiment history series a while back.  In Part III, Mr. Nealon provides us with a comprehensive diagram entertaining the age old question: What is a condiment?

While TCB doesn't necessarily agree with his entire classification, we wholeheartedly support any project that employs John Venn's life work.

Note:  This is the third post of a series, so stay tuned. 

Image: condiment_venn2.11, by Tom Nealon

Hot Sauce: Frank's RedHot Sweet Heat BBQ Wings Sauce

 

I eat a lot of Frank's RedHot sauce...I really do put that sh*t on everything...so it's surprising that TCB hasn't reviewed it yet.

While Frank's Original is my all-purpose, vinegar-based hot sauce, their Sweet Heat BBQ Wings Sauce caught my eye in the grocery store and turned out to be pretty freakin' good.

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FLAVOR - Smoky mix of vinegar and pepper, with a smooth medium heat finish; subtle hint of buttery sweetness.
CONSISTENCY - Slightly thicker than the average hot sauce, but still on the thin side; holds food coating well
APPEARANCE -  Carnelian red with tiny black and white flecks

SMELL - Strong vinegar scent with noticeable pepper undertones

AVAILABILITY - Readily available

INGREDIENTS -Distilled vinegar, HFCS, water, aged cayenne red peppers, tomato paste, salt, modified food starch, honey, molasses, sugar, canola oil, paprika, mustard bran, natural flavors, garlic powder, sodium benzoate (as a preservative), xanthan gum, spices, caramel color, corn syrup

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This sauce is similar to some of the homemade concoctions I've made mixing Frank's Original with various BBQ sauces.  I really enjoy the flavor of Frank's Original and the Sweet Heat stays true to that flavor, but with a BBQ sauce spin.  It's obviously great on wings, but I also apply liberally to turkey burgers and roasted chicken.

And, We're Back...

After a two-month hiatus, The Condiment Bible is back in action!!!

After October's McRib madness, TCB hit peak daily traffic, so we did what every responsible condiment blog should do: quit posting and alienate as many potential readers as possible.  TCB: 1, interwebs: 0.

Over the past two months, we've dedicated ourselves to intense condiment research, comprehensive design overhaul and writing style improvement eating McRibs.

Seriously though, TCB is back.  And we've got things to look forward to:

• Our simple new blog design (and a pending switch to Tumblr).
• Continuation of our Sweet Baby Ray's Monday spotlight.
• More great condiment reviews. 

Image: mustard and hot dog love, by zen

Rooster Sauce Makes Moves

Huy Fong Foods, which makes the famous Rooster-labeled sriracha (reviewed by TCB), is expanding their facilities in LA County.

Inspirational quote:  "Demand for the product has increased every year for the last 30 years, said David Tran, a Vietnamese immigrant who said he founded the company when he couldn't find hot sauce he liked. 

Via The LA Times

Image by Gina Ferazzi, Los Angeles Times

The Golden Age of Condiments

We've entered The Golden Age of Condiments.  Economically speaking, of course.   

Apparently condiment sales "grew 9.4 percent from 2007 to 2009, becoming the second largest category in the specialty foods market behind the perennial stalwart, cheese."

Look out, cheese.  We're coming. 

Via: Business Week

Image: Condiments for the best hot dog ever, by katehartman

McRib Madness

The McRib is back in the national spotlight, which probably has everything to do with The Condiment Bible's recent homemade McRib recipe.

The McRib is being re-re-released on a nation-wide scale on November 2nd.  Mark your calendars.

EDIT:  Confirmed by McDonald's Twitter feed.

Also, yours truly made the front page of the Wall Street Journal yesterday (last 2 paragraphs).  Was I really dejected after leaving a McD's sans McRib?  Yes.  Was I even more dejected that I made the front page of the WSJ and they DIDN'T FREAKING PLUG THE CONDIMENT BIBLE?  YES!