Heinz Ketchup Facts

Thrillist (the circadian email of all things "guy") posted an impressive docket of little known facts about the ketchup brand we love to love.  

While some of the listicle's facts are mainstream knowledge (if you're part of the 89% of Americans who don't know about the "57" bottle trick, please move along), there were a few gems with which TCB was seriously impressed.

We're not sure how we missed list item #4, the "counterfeit ketchup-ers rebottle OG Heinz as premium Simply Heinz and bottles explode due to fermentation" story...it's in our own NJ backyard, fer Chrissakes...but miss it we did.

Also, #7's link to Malcolm Gladwell's New Yorker article on how Heinz cornered the ketchup market by fine-tuning ingredients to stimulate all five flavor sensors was fascinating.



Image: Dog Days of Summer, by designwallah

WANTED: Yankee Stadium Ketchup Hooligan

Have you seen this man?  

He was spotted abusing an innocent ketchup dispenser at Yankee Stadium prior to the ALDS Game 1 rainout on Friday, September 30th.

The Condiment Bible is considering him armed (see picture foreground) and dangerous.

Have you ever seen a Chinese ketchup?

Mad Money's Jim Cramer is bullish on Heinz and wants to know, "Have you ever seen a Chinese ketchup?"

Come to think of it Mr. Cramer, no we have not. 

Via Seeking Alpha

Image: 01-01-2007, by rhiannonstone

Heinz Dip & Squeeze

The good folks at Heinz are bringing European-style condiment packets to the States.  The Condiment Bible has no beef with traditional packets, but we're suckers for innovation, and the option to either dip or squeeze is appealing.

Via Facebook 

Image:  Heinz

Ketchup Taste Test

TCB was impressed with Bon Appetit's style in their recent BBQ sauce taste test...even though we disagreed with the results.  So we checked out the rest of their "Supermarket Standoffs" and came across this ketchup taste test.  You don't need much of an imagination to guess the winner.

Note:  Nutritionist Sandra Frank, we understand that health and wellness is your life's profession, but seriously...Organicville is your number one choice?  Because it has one less measly gram of sugar, 34% less sodium and uses organic tomatoes?  Meh...if it tastes like shit, no one cares.  Epic fail.

Via Bon Appetit

Image: Ketchup, by Automania

Ketchup: Stonewall Kitchen Country Ketchup

I'm a BBQ sauce guy through-and-through, but lately I've been rediscovering the joys of ketchup.  Regular readers know my thoughts on Heinz (hint: it's awesome), but it's always good to get out and try new condiments.  My Stonewall Kitchen Country Ketchup purchase was a complete impulse buy that turned out to be excellent.

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FLAVOR - Heavy on the tomato and vinegar flavor, with a sweet middle and a mildly spicy finish; notes of allspice or clove
CONSISTENCY - Thick, with large pieces of chewy (in a good way) tomatoes
APPEARANCE - Typical ketchup red, with visible chunks of white garlic and spices
SMELL - Sharp vinegar tang with an undertone of Sunday sauce gravy
AVAILABILITY - Available

INGREDIENTS - Tomatoes (tomato juice, citric acid, calcium chloride), tomato paste, pure cane sugar, red bell peppers, white vinegar, onions, water, garlic, salt, crushed red pepper flakes, spices

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You might recognize Stonewall Kitchen as king of the shopping mall sample dips. ("Would you like to try a stale pretzel stick dipped in our congealed wasabi mustard that's been sitting out since 8AM?")  Well, they definitely got things right with their Country Ketchup.  I found it to be super tasty on both a grilled veggie sandwich and a more traditional hamburger.

World's Largest Ketchup Bottle

Forget the recent news about the world's most expensive hot haute dog.  (Who puts "heirloom tomato ketchup" on a f*cking hot dog anyway?!)

We're more enthralled by the World's Largest Bottle of Catsup, located in Collinsville, Illinois.  Built in 1949 by the bottlers of Brooks Rich & Tangy Ketchup, this bad boy could potentially hold 70,000 gallons of the red stuff.

When the apocalypse commences and the global condiment shortages begin, I think you know where I'm heading.

Via Time.com 

Image: World's Largest Catsup Bottle - Close-up, by Lance and Erin

Ketchup Drowning

Some Indian factory workers drowned in a giant vat of ketchup.  Funny how one man's fantasy is another's tragic death.

Image: Bursting with flavour (No.37), by PhotoGraham

Ketchup: Heinz Tomato Ketchup

 Ketchup.

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FLAVOR - Ketchup
CONSISTENCY - Ketchup
APPEARANCE - Ketchup
SMELL - Ketchup
AVAILABILITY - Ketchup

INGREDIENTS - Ketchup

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Ketchup.  Enough said.


Image: Ketchup, by AJBeanster

Ketchup: Heinz Chili Sauce

Ever notice there is no flavored ketchup?  Sure, there used to be Heinz Kick'rs, but that was a short-lived venture (although you can still score the Hot & Spicy).  I regularly mix my own flavored ketchup using Heinz as a base, but when I want to go the easy store-bought route, I turn to Heinz Chili Sauce.

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FLAVOR - Sharp vinegar, followed by ketchup/tomato, and finished off with a unique horseradish-like essence
CONSISTENCY - Fairly thick, with whole nuggets of onion and tomato
APPEARANCE - Ketchup red with pepper seeds and small tomato slivers
SMELL - Robust, tangy vinegar and tomatoes, very subtle suggestion of onion
AVAILABILITY - Readily available

INGREDIENTS - Tomato puree (tomato paste, water), distilled white vinegar, HFCS, salt, corn syrup, dehydrated onions, spice, garlic powder, natural flavoring

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I would have bet a gallon of Mary's that Heinz Chili Sauce had horseradish in it; apparently, I'd have been wrong.  This sauce is amazing on anything you would otherwise be putting ketchup on...which I realize is probably everything.  It's also the key ingredient in a wide variety of appetizers, ranging from cocktail meatballs to bacon wrapped water chestnuts.  The "chili" is kind of a misnomer, since there is zero heat, but we're not complaining.

Ketchup: Linda Catchup [sic]

When it comes to ketchup, I'll take a knee and kiss the Heinz family ring like everyone else in the civilized world.  But every so often (usually outside the USA), I like to mix it up and try a random bottle.  Plus, I've heard of "ketchup" and "catsup," but never "catchup!"

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FLAVOR - Sugary sweet tomatoes, with a barely noticeable hint of vinegar
CONSISTENCY - Thin, but not quite watery
APPEARANCE -  Typical ketchup red, minuscule shreds of tomato visible when spread thin 
SMELL - Pure tomato, very similar to opening a can of crushed or pureed tomatoes
AVAILABILITY - Unknown

INGREDIENTS - Unknown

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This bottle of Linda Catchup was procured at a small shop located in Hinche, Haiti.  The only bottle label is the one visible in the pic, so the country of origin is a mystery.  I've tried it on all the usual BBQ fare (hot dogs, hamburgers, veggie burgers, chicken, etc) as well as traditional Haitian food like kabrit.  After eating Heinz for so long, it's amazing how another ketchup can taste so different and delicious.

I don't expect anyone to find Linda Catchup easily, but I encourage you to move beyond the boilerplate every once in a while.