Every Fourth of July, I cheer wildly for USA's Joey Chestnut to beat the piss out of Takeru Kobayashi in the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Eating a hot dog with no condiments should be a crime. Write your legislators! Even the Nathan's logo has an inspiring strip of mustard!
Note: OK, OK, so I'm still watching...and cheering for Joey
Image: Nathan's, Day Shot, Coney Island, by Tony the Misfit